Confidence means the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; a firm trust. That is a confidence to do a particular thing.

Self-confidence

is how you feel about your own abilities and which do vary from situation to situation. “ Esteem

refers to the degree of respect and praise, typically expressed by others for you as a person.”

Self-esteem

refers to how you feel about yourself overall; how much esteem, respect or self-love you have received. One may have a healthy self-esteem, but low confidence about a situation e.g. math exam“

A Child is a person, male or female, usually under ten, but it’s flexible too. Colloquially, parents still call even their 16 year old a child but, on a physicalfront he/ she are no more a child. Children is simply the plural (more than one) of child where as a Tween, is a youngster between 10 and 12 years of age, who is considered too old to be a child and too young to be a teenager.

During this period, being in formative years, a confidence building is more in progress though every child is different. Some still behave as kids and others are quite precocious or we can say more mature. Some are already entering puberty, with body, emotions, and attitudinal changes happening during this stage.

Parents need to take these changes into account, when they handle children down the lane of ever moving wheel of life. These children begin to think logically and like to work on real tasks, such as baking, moping , laundry, washing dishes or mowing a lawn. They have a lot of natural curiosity about living things and enjoy having pets. They are full of energy, and physical activities are important to them. They like to take part in sports and group activities. They like choosing their own clothes, music, hair style and friends circle. Now, they feel powerful and independent. They feel confident in what to do and how to do it. They are in tearing hurry to become an adult.

To instil self confidence in them , we the parents, need to keep communication lines open by setting rules and giving reasons for them and be a good listener. Parents should allow them to take decisions under their trained eyes and burgeoning experience. As children enter adolescence [age 13 to 19], they want their independence. In patches they still want to be children and need your guidance. Your child is changing so fast—in body, mind, and emotions—that you hardly know him/her anymore. One day he’s as responsible and mature as an adult; the next self-esteem day he’s more like an eight-year-old. One minute he’s sunny and enthusiastic; the next he’s worried and silent. Such type of behaviour is normal.

A child always needs to assure that his parents are with and behind him; no matter how he/she may stumble in his attempts to grow up. This growing up isa serious business, dear parent. Confide in your children that they are doing their best and encourage them to see their mistakes as learn from them in succession. Please don’t tease them about their clothes, hair style and friends. They also need privacy with their own space and things. Being a teenager, your child looks in the mirror and likes the person he sees. He also looks inside himself and is comfortable with the person he sees. He thinks of himself as being someone who can make things happen and who is worthy of love. Parents are the main source of a child’s sense of self confidence or self-worth.

Conversely, lack of a Good Self-Image very often leads to behaviour issues.Most of the behavioural problems come from poor self-worth in parents into their children.

If you want to raise a confident child that grows up with a healthy self-worth, then parents must lay a background and facilitate that they have a realistic understanding of their Strengths and Weaknesses, Opportunism and Threats. I mean do the SWOT analysis.

On occasions, .babies is toughtoo. And, it’s never too late to start the habits that help raise a confident child. Getting to know your child and seeing things from his point of view will help you help him learn to trust himself. This kind of nurturing put the blocks of self-worth in place

A child’s Self-Esteem is acquired, not inherited. Surrounding environment plays a quintessential role in shaping the self-confidenceof kids. A child learns certain character traits, such as anger and fearfulness.Her parents have a role to play. If they suffer from low self-confidence, that can percolate the same and have a cascading effect on their kids.

Parents can take following steps so that Self-confidence can be instilled in kids in maximum and in time:

• Remember, children like the company of their parents most, when they are happy. So serve as Positive Mirror to your kids

• Raise a Confident Child by Playing Together. This sends a message that the child is a valuable person. Encourage the child to initiate the play. Child-initiated play also increases self-worth. My dad used to play the game of Snakes and Ladders with me regularly. This helped me to be at more ease with him, ask questions and be more confident.

• Let your child feel he/she is very special: they are the ultimate purpose for parents to live on.

• Address Your Child by Name. Addressing your child by name, especially when accompanied by eye contact and touch helps a long way. This makes him feel special. Parents often use a child’s nickname or first name only in a casual dialogue.

• To raise a confident child as he gets older, encourage his talents. Help a child play a game of his choice. This will improve his overall performance and self confidence • Guide Your Child to plan, implement and succeed.

• Children measure their own value by how they perceive others value them. . If you want to raise a confident child, be sure your child believes you value him because of who he is, not how he performs. Do this by giving him plenty of eye contact, therapeutic touching and focused attention. .He must know that your love for him does not depend on his performance. That’s a tough assignment for a parent indeed.

• Screen your child’s friends as one is known or affected by the company one keeps. Persons of significance in his life are relatives, coaches, teachers, religious leaders and friends. It’s up to the parents to keep an eye on all of this.

• Keep the home kid-friendly, so that the friends of your child can come and spend some time as peers. This improves self confidence in your child.

• Monitor the school influence on your child. Because at elementary school, other adults become influential in his life.

• Give your children responsibilities. One of the main ways children develop self-confidence and internalize values, is through helping maintain the family living area, inside and out. Raise a confident child by giving them household duties. A child may be requested to tidy up his room, wash a car, gardening or clean his own used dishes. This helps them feel more valuable and channels their energy into desirable behaviour and teaching skills.

• Encourage children to express their feelings. Maturity develops through years of learning that lead to a positive attitude.Positive attitude lead to maturity not aging. A child with unbridled emotions becomes a brat. A person who never expresses emotions becomes too reserved. Too much control or too much emoting will both produce problems later in life.in adult life.

Parents don’t need a degree in psychology to raise a confident child. Much of parenting is fun and takes it easy.Many parents are already overloaded with guilt because they may not be doing enough to marcher their child’s self-worth. Always remember, children are like a white cloth, whatever color you give or they pick up by default, in their formative years, have near permanent hue on them. When we try to give another color, LATER ON, it results into a different – one due to litmus reaction. Inculcate good habits in the children from childhood. My father used to take me to alibrary, in the vicinity, when I was a tween. This is how I developed the passion to read and then write. I owe my writing ability to my late rev. dad. Self-confidence is your child’s passport to a lifetime of good mental health and overall happiness. It’s the foundation of a child’s well-being and the key to success as an adult.

As an Arborist care for a tree, likewise, parents raise a confident child, by nurturing their kids because, parenting is therapeutic. Raise a Confident Child and watch him grow like a great human being.

Prof. Surinder Kochhar (Shaun)
LPN, FCN, M.Com, CAIIB, DIM A freelance writer with 36 Years Exp. A Diabetes Coach of University of Victoria